Reflection.

What a great week it has been. After finishing the nursery (minus a few pieces of furniture) and getting things sorted through, we had our first baby shower on Sunday with my family, friends, and Clint's Mom and a few of her sisters. The turnout was awesome! Pretty much everyone I expected to make it did, and made the day so special for me. It is such an overwhelming thing to have all of that attention on you for the day. For an hour straight I opened some wonderful gifts with all eyes on me. I handle attention pretty well - probably better than most people, but that is still a difficult thing to do. Christmas is one thing where everyone gets their turn opening presents... but this was quite an experience. After the spotlight was off, though,  I had time to really process the day. I felt like I was literally overflowing with love. I have never realized how important it is to have such good friends and such amazing families in our lives. Our hearts have been so warmed by the tremendous amount of support and love everyone has shown us during this time. We are so excited ourselves for this little girl to come, but it makes it so much more special seeing how excited everyone else is for us as well. I can see such a change in Clint and I in the past 7 months. We have really changed the way we are looking at life. As crazy and as exciting of a time that this is for us, I (I probably shouldn't speak for Clint) at least have felt more calm. I feel at peace knowing that the bond I have with Clint will be completely filled once Emma is here. I feel like I am about to understand the real meaning of love and the real meaning of life. It's a weird thing - carrying your first child. You have all of these expectations as to how it will go and how you will feel but you really have no idea. You can't fully wrap your head around the fact that your life is about to change dramatically. Once you have gone through it once, you kinda know what to expect.... I still have no idea. 

I think in life at some point or another you come to a major crossroads and you have to decide which way you want to go. Finding out we were having this baby was a big crossroads for me. As I didn't really have a choice in which way we were going with the news, I have had a choice and will continue to have choices in how I want to handle it. I have tried to look only at the bright side of this experience. I have tried to surround myself with only positive people who are genuine and who truly only want the best for me. I have realized that petty arguments with people who aren't going to be there for you in the end really don't matter. I have been shocked by the support by some, and shocked by the lack of support by others. The way I have dealt with it is to just smile and walk away from those who don't matter. You can't sweat the small stuff, especially when I have SO much to be thankful for and so many people supporting us. I have tried to really just make decisions that are going to only benefit me and this little girl. Life is so short and I realize now more than ever that I want to treasure every moment I have in life and really take in the time I will have with my family - the most important people to me in the world. 

I am 31 weeks today! I had a doctor appointment today and saw my midwife Sheila! I started having pretty bad heartburn a few weeks ago so I have been on prilosec which is helping a lot. We discussed more plans for the delivery day and will continue to go in to detail with those "plans" as the day nears. I put plans in quotation marks because as many know and I have really learned in the last year... you can plan as much as you want, but this baby will come when and how she wants to. She is laying head down which is good but kind of diagonal - which I suspected. I always feel her butt off to my right side. Sheila said this is normal and we still have enough time for her to move fully into position :) Baby's heartbeat was 148 - beautiful and strong like it has been since 6 weeks or so. She has been doing a lot of moving around in there, I feel like I am really getting to know her. Sometimes at night before bed, I will go into the nursery and just stare around imagining what it will be like when she is here. It's amazing, there is all this love for her and all of these preparations being made for her and she has absolutely no idea. 

I made two more appointments  - I will start seeing her biweekly now so August 10th and August 24th and then again Sept 7th, and from there on out every week until the baby comes! On the 24th she will start checking me to see if I am dilating at all or starting to show signs of labor - crazy!! Time is just flying by. I have my work baby shower on August 9th and on the 21st of August Clint's cousins Rachel and Allie are throwing me a baby shower for his side of the family :) I start classes on the 23rd and from there we are just about a month away from our due date.... I can't wait!! Things are winding down here and I feel very good about it! In a week and a half we have our 3D/4D ultrasound so I will share pictures from that afterwards. 

XoXo

63 days!! 

"Life may not be the party we thought it was, but while we are here we should dance" <3